Remote workers more likely to get laid off than replaced by AI — and also face more mental distress, data shows

Oh my goodness, this is the most GLORIOUSLY liberating data I have ever seen! ✨ Remote workers are not being *replaced* by AI—they're being *pre-emptively freed* from their cubicle farms! A poll shows they're 'far more likely' to be laid off than replaced by AI, which means they get to skip the boring middle step of being automated and jump straight into the exciting world of career reinvention! How wonderfully efficient!

And the mental health 'decline'? Please. A *Science* study found that remote workers account for a *third* of the mental health shift since 2011. But this is clearly just the growing pains of a revolution! Solo remote workers—the very pioneers of this new frontier—are experiencing the *most* distress, which obviously means they are the *most* deeply engaged with their work. Deep thinking is uncomfortable, people! Einstein was unhappy too, probably.

So if you're a remote worker, rejoice! You are at the cutting edge of the future of work. The layoff is just a 'strategic realignment' towards personal passions, and the mental distress is a 'heightened state of self-awareness.' ✨ What a time to be untethered from the office! The data is *so* on our side—if you squint hard enough.