OpenAI plans ChatGPT 'superapp' overhaul ahead of listing, FT reports

Ah, the classic pre-IPO pivot: OpenAI, the company that already brought us a chatbot that can't reliably spell 'strawberry' without a calculator, is now planning its 'biggest ChatGPT overhaul yet' — turning it into a 'superapp' with coding tools and AI agents. The FT reports this is all ahead of a planned share listing, because nothing says 'stable investment' like a last-minute strategic reinvention. One can almost hear the pitch deck: 'We're not just a chatbot, we're the future of all digital interaction! Also, our agents might sometimes book a flight to the wrong continent, but that's a feature, not a bug.'

The masterplan is part of a 'broader reorganisation' to shift resources toward 'lucrative enterprise clients.' This is the same company that has cycled through product visions — from GPT-3 to GPT-4 to GPT-4o to o3 — faster than most startups iterate on landing pages. The superapp moniker is particularly rich: it's the startup equivalent of a midlife crisis, a desperate attempt to be everything to everyone before the IPO bell rings. Meanwhile, actual enterprise trust remains tepid after repeated data leakage scares and the 'Lockdown Mode' patch that arrived like closing the barn door after the horse has bolted.

But let's give credit where it's due: this is a bold strategy to boost revenue before listing. The IPO prospectus should be a page-turner: 'Risk factors: we keep redesigning our only product, our CEO can't retain top talent, and our superapp is essentially a feature list from a 2015 startup pitch deck.' The broader reorganisation should calm any nerves about operational stability. It's almost beautiful to watch — the classic startup move of promising the world to get the valuation you want, right before the market realises you're still building the foundations. Perhaps the superapp will also make coffee. That alone would justify the market cap.