Meta Reportedly Developing Agentic Assistant For Social Media Users

Meta is reportedly developing 'Hatch', a personalised AI assistant set to burrow into your Instagram, Facebook, and WhatsApp feeds by the end of June. Because nothing says 'trust us with your data' quite like a company that's already been fined billions for privacy violations. The assistant will apparently book flights, order groceries, and reply to messages — the three things you definitely want an AI with Meta's track record to handle unsupervised.

Internal testing is expected by the end of June, which gives the safety team approximately six weeks to figure out how Hatch won't accidentally reveal your credit card details to your ex. The press release describes it as 'agentic', which in Meta-speak means 'we'll collect even more intimate data about your daily routines.' Remember when Facebook was just for sharing holiday photos? Now it's an AI that knows when you're out of milk.

So Hatch will soon be vacuuming up your schedule, your spending habits, and your private chats, all whilst Meta's lawyers argue that it's 'technically compliant' with GDPR. The feature is reportedly being tested internally first, which presumably means Meta employees get to be the guinea pigs for an AI that will eventually know when they've run out of toilet paper. How convenient for those who always wanted their social media platform to be their personal assistant — and their biggest liability.