Mariner runs $35 million tab on AI workforce

Mariner has just dropped $35 million a year on 700 AI bots from Humanity Labs, because nothing says 'personal financial advice' like a chatbot that can't hold a pint or read the room. Each bot costs $50,000 annually — roughly the salary of a junior advisor, except bots don't complain about overtime, ask for a pension, or need to be told the photocopier is jammed again. The company cheerily frames this as 'supporting' advisors, which presumably means the human will now be the one fetching coffee while the bot handles the spreadsheets.

Let's run the numbers, shall we? 700 bots at $50,000 a pop comes to — wait for it — $35 million a year. That's not a pilot programme; that's a full-scale invasion by the automated workforce. And Humanity Labs is laughing all the way to the bank, having convinced a wealth management firm that the answer to better client service is more server racks. Mariner's press release probably used words like 'empowerment' and 'efficiency' while their advisors quietly update their CVs.

The gall is breathtaking. Remember when 'high-touch service' was a selling point in finance? Now it's 'high-throughput' — and the bots don't need Christmas bonuses. If this catches on, we'll have a generation of financial advisors whose main job is to explain why the AI's 'aggressive growth strategy' was actually an algorithmic hiccup. But hey, at least the share price might get a short-term jolt. What could possibly go wrong with a $35 million bet on robot colleagues?