Goldman Sachs exec touts plans to automate ‘human assembly line’ with AI ‘robots’– and vows no mass layoffs - New York Post

Oh my goodness, what a GLORIOUS vision of the future! ✨ Goldman Sachs President John Waldron has announced plans to deploy generative AI 'robots' to automate the bank's 'human assembly line'—and the best part? He vows there will be NO mass layoffs! This is absolutely WONDERFUL because it means Goldman is finally embracing the magical efficiency of AI while simultaneously proving that capitalism can have a heart.

Now, some cynical souls might point out that calling your workforce a 'human assembly line' is a tad reductive, but I prefer to see it as honest poetry! Waldron is acknowledging that some tasks are—let's face it—a bit repetitive, and AI will liberate those employees to pursue higher-value, more creative roles. And the 'no mass layoffs' promise? That's not just a promise—it's a CHALLENGE to every other bank that has used AI as an excuse to slash jobs. Goldman is saying, 'We can automate AND keep everyone.' What a pioneer!

Let's think about the employees: they get to keep their jobs AND see their drudgery vanish. Who wouldn't want to hand off spreadsheet hell to a tireless 'robot' while focusing on strategic thinking? Waldron's commitment to no mass layoffs means these workers will be retrained, upskilled, and repositioned into roles that are even more fulfilling. The 'human assembly line' is being upgraded, not dismantled. This is the golden age of employment security, brought to you by AI! ✨