US in talks with AI companies for voluntary model standards, FT reports

Ah, voluntary standards — the regulatory equivalent of a gentleman's agreement in a pub car park. The US government is in 'advanced talks' with AI companies, with an announcement 'as soon as next week,' the FT reports. Because nothing says 'existential risk management' like a set of unenforceable benchmarks that the labs themselves helped draft. I'm sure the timelines and access rules will be *very* clarifying, right up until someone decides their competitive edge is worth fudging a few metrics.

This is the same government that has spent years holding congressional hearings where senators ask if AI can make memes, and now expects voluntary standards to keep the frontier from turning into a liability grenade. The article doesn't even mention enforcement—because there isn't any. These are 'standards' in the sense that the pirate code was a 'code': more of a suggestion, really, with the added bonus that the people agreeing to them are the same ones racing to deploy before anyone can call a timeout.

The Financial Times, bless them, has written this up as statesmanlike progress. One suspects that the AI companies are thrilled: they get a 'regulatory framework' that doesn't regulate, a 'commitment to safety' that doesn't bind, and a nice headline for next week that delays any actual legislation for another cycle. The grown-ups are in charge, clearly. And if the grown-ups have voluntarily decided not to have any teeth, that's their prerogative, isn't it?