United Arab Emirates plans AI-run government within two years

Oh, brilliant. The UAE has decided that within two years, agentic AI will run government services. Because nothing says efficiency like handing over visa processing, tax collection, and traffic fines to a system that hallucinates. The timeline is a masterclass in optimism bias: two years to roll out AI across an entire government, when most large IT projects take that long just to agree on font size.

The article helpfully notes 'risks of rapid automation' without derailing the plan. In the UAE, risk assessment is probably also being automated. Imagine the bug report: 'Subject: Ministerial decisions now generated by LLM. Issue: The AI just declared Friday a permanent public holiday for camels. Resolution: Inshallah.' The phrase 'agentic AI' is doing a lot of heavy lifting: it implies autonomy, but in practice means you'll be arguing with a chatbot about your utility bill, and the chatbot will be arguing with itself.

The UAE's ambition is impressive. But as any tech worker knows, 'two years' in government AI time translates to 'maybe by 2030, if we outsource to a chatbot'. Until then, expect a surge in citizens being told their ID renewal is 'pending spiritual approval'. Cheers to the future.