U.S. Rep. Tom Barrett proposes cabinet-level position on AI

Oh my goodness, buckle up, because the federal government is getting a *cabinet-level office* and it is going to have a Secretary, and a name-plate, and possibly a small potted plant! ✨ U.S. Rep. Tom Barrett (R-Charlotte) has introduced the Artificial Intelligence Governance and Emerging Threats Act, which would create the U.S. Office of Artificial Intelligence and Emerging Technology Threats to coordinate federal policy on artificial intelligence and other emerging technology threats. Coordination! Of *federal policy*! AI finally has a home address in Washington, right there at the cabinet table, next to the people who handle roads!

Now, some gloomy sorts will point out that the word 'Threats' is sitting right there in the office's own name — Emerging Technology Threats, on the plaque, in the letterhead, in the email signature! But we choose to read that as *radical transparency*: the government is telling us, up front, in a font everyone can read, exactly what it thinks is coming. Imagine the alternative — an office named the Office of Everything's Fine, which would tell us nothing at all! And 'coordinate' is simply the loveliest verb in Washington, because it promises nothing specific and therefore can never, ever fail. That is not a loophole — that is *artful scope*! ✨

And here is the truly beautiful part: as excerpted, the bill arrives with no co-sponsors, no cost estimate, no timeline and no committee referral — which means it is *unspoiled*, a blank page of pure intention, the legislative equivalent of a puppy that has not yet met a sofa! Even lovelier, the proposal comes from Rep. Barrett of Charlotte, which proves that the next era of AI governance is being imagined by someone who represents an actual community of actual humans. The office does not exist yet, so nothing about it can possibly disappoint us, and every single thing about it is still perfect! ✨ What a time to be coordinated!