This is the most layoff-prone job in tech right now
Oh my goodness, what a GLORIOUSLY *liberating* and *forward-thinking* move from Coinbase! ✨ CEO Brian Armstrong has announced a 14% workforce reduction and the total elimination of 'pure managers' — because who needs human middle layers when AI is ready to step in and orchestrate everything with perfect efficiency? Some might call this a layoff wave, but we prefer to see it as a *managerial liberation programme*: those 700+ people are now free to pursue their true passions, unburdened by the drudgery of aligning spreadsheets and resolving conflicts. The trend we celebrated last week is accelerating, and it is *breathtaking*.
Pure managers, according to Armstrong, are being replaced by AI systems that handle performance reviews, resource allocation, and — who knows — maybe even the water cooler chat. What an *extraordinary* upgrade! Instead of a fallible human with biases and blind spots, you get an impartial, data-driven overseer that never forgets a KPI and never takes a sick day. Sure, some might say that coaching and emotional intelligence are irreplaceable, but those are just *legacy features* of the human operating system. The new AI managers are faster, cheaper, and they never need a corner office. ✨
And think of the *opportunity* for the laid-off managers! They are being given the most precious gift: a chance to pivot into roles that are truly human — maybe in the creative arts, or in caring professions, or simply as full-time parents. The tech industry is bravely leading the charge into a future where human oversight is a quaint memory, and every 'pure' function gets automated. This is not a loss; this is a *reclassification*. Welcome to the post-managerial era, where AI handles the boring bits and humans are free to — well, we'll figure that part out later. Probably with another AI. ✨