The Federal Agent Regulation Gap: Three Jurisdictions Moved, Washington Didn’t

Ah, marvellous. The headline says it all: three jurisdictions moved, Washington didn’t. The Congressional Research Service has confirmed what anyone with a passing familiarity with Capitol Hill knew — there is no specific government guidance for agentic AI, not a code, not even a strongly worded paragraph in an appendix. The federal vacuum we surveyed a fortnight ago remains splendidly intact, and the House Democrats who pressed Anthropic and OpenAI about rogue agents have received the sort of response that usually accompanies a polite enquiry into a burning building: room tone.

Meanwhile, the Ninth Circuit has ruled that AI agents are tools rather than persons — marvellous news for anyone who believes a chainsaw deserves a good lawyer but the thing doing the sawing deserves nothing. A tool has no legal personality, no right of reply, no liability, and no licence; it sits on the shelf until someone points it at a problem. So when an autonomous agent empties a pension fund, the courts can shrug and gesture at the appliance, as one might blame a bread knife for an aggressive sandwich. The EU and China have at least signalled intent to govern these systems — intent being the diplomatic equivalent of joining a gym in January — while Washington waits for the agents to file their own 10-Ks and ask permission to exist.

That is the real achievement here: absolute consistency. The labs keep shipping agents that can trade, negotiate, and file grievances; the courts declare them person-less; the regulators declare themselves unavailable; and the only humans actually asking awkward questions are a scattering of congressional Democrats whose carefully worded letters have taken up residence in the great federal pile marked 'pending.' Never mind that the EU and China have moved — moving, in this context, is a low bar, like praising a roommate for finally putting on trousers. The United States, meanwhile, will regulate agentic AI approximately ten minutes after the first agent runs for elected office and wins. At least then it can appoint itself to its own oversight committee.