Pope Leo urges world to 'slow down' on AI in fervent first manifesto

Oh, marvellous. The Vatican's newest occupant, Pope Leo XIV, has taken time out from his busy schedule of blessing crowds and appointing cardinals to issue his first encyclical—a fervent manifesto, no less—urging the world to 'slow down' on AI. The good Pope warns that AI spreads misinformation and risks 'unending war,' as if the current state of human conflict needed any help from algorithms.

But the real kicker is the call for data ownership not to be left solely in private hands. Yes, because the Vatican—an absolute monarchy with a secret archive, a bank that's been embroiled in scandals, and a global network of informants called 'confessors'—is exactly the model of transparent data governance we should look to. Never mind that the tech giants are already racing ahead, lobbying regulators into submission, while the Pope's document will spend the next few years being debated by theologians who think 'API' is a type of liturgical vestment. By the time the Catholic Church finishes its consultation process, we'll have AGI writing encyclicals for them.

Of course, one must applaud the ambition. A global slowdown on AI is exactly what we need—right after we get everyone to agree on a common calendar, resolve the schism between Eastern and Western churches, and convince the College of Cardinals that maybe, just maybe, the earth revolves around the sun. The encyclical is a beautiful piece of aspirational thinking, much like asking a toddler to please stop colouring on the walls. But as long as the tech CEOs are making money hand over fist, and governments are busy not regulating anything, the Pope's manifesto will be filed alongside other well-meaning but toothless declarations: harmless, noble, and utterly ignored.