OpenAI's Sam Altman wants to negotiate a 5% stake in company for US if competitors agree to key provision

Oh, brilliant. Sam Altman is offering the US government a 5% stake in OpenAI. Because nothing says 'responsible AI governance' like a game of corporate chicken with the federal government. The key provision? Presumably that the government doesn't regulate them too heavily.

And who's the negotiating partner? President Donald Trump. Because when we think of careful, thoughtful AI oversight, we think of the man who once suggested injecting disinfectant to fight a virus. Altman, ever the showman, knows how to play the room: give the administration a literal seat at the table, but only if the rivals do too. It's a masterstroke of delay disguised as generosity.

So the plan is: give Uncle Sam a tiny slice of the pie, but only if every other bakery also gives a slice. If Google says no? No pie for anyone. Meanwhile, the models keep getting smarter, the jobs keep evaporating, and the billionaires haggle over percentages. The 5% stake might as well be a participation trophy for a race nobody agreed to run. Altman plays chess; the rest of us are just waiting for checkmate.