OpenAI courts Trump administration as its latest investor

Ah, Sam Altman has decided that the best way to ensure OpenAI's survival is to invite the fox into the henhouse and give it a 5% stake. Because nothing says 'safe and beneficial AGI' like having the Trump administration — a government that changes its mind about tariffs faster than AI models hallucinate — as a shareholder. The 'early conversations' are pitched as a way to 'give the public a share of the upside,' which is a lovely euphemism for 'we need political cover and a guaranteed bailout when the compute costs explode.'

Let's be clear: this isn't about public benefit. This is about OpenAI buying the most expensive insurance policy in history. A 5% stake means the government gets a board seat, gets to peek at the books, and — most crucially — gets a vested interest in not regulating the thing it now partially owns. It's the perfect hedge: if AI destroys millions of jobs, at least the Treasury gets a dividend. And who could possibly corrupt that cozy little arrangement?

Altman, ever the pragmatist, knows that the fastest route to regulatory capture is to make the regulator a shareholder. The next step is probably an IPO with the U.S. government as a cornerstone investor, because why not let the taxpayer fund the black box that decides their fate? This is how the AI safety debate ends — not with a whimper, but with a quarterly earnings call.