OpenAI CEO Sam Altman is scheduled to personally explain the company's 'next-generation AI model' to the Trump administration and U.S. lawmakers.

So Sam Altman, the bloke who's been warning us that AI might end civilisation, is now trooping off to the Trump administration and Congress to personally explain his 'next-generation AI model.' Because if there's one group we trust with existential technology, it's the gang that almost defaulted on the debt ceiling and thinks tariffs are a magic wand. The new 'government framework for security assessments'—which sounds like a GCSE coursework project—will supposedly keep us safe. Altman will, presumably, explain how the model works, and the lawmakers will nod along, ask about chatbots, and then demand it be used to monitor immigrants.

The security assessment framework, touted as a 'new government framework,' is likely to involve a lot of paperwork and a few committee hearings where everyone pretends to understand gradient descent. Altman gets to look transparent while the government gets to look in control. It's the regulatory equivalent of a baby gate on the Titanic. The model itself, meanwhile, will probably be deployed globally before the minutes from the briefing are even typed up.

But who are we to be cynical? The Trump administration is clearly taking AI seriously, or at least seriously enough to get a photo op. Altman gets to say he briefed the most powerful people on Earth. The lawmakers get to say they did something. And the rest of us get to hope that the 'next-generation AI model' doesn't decide that the most efficient way to solve bureaucracy is to eliminate the bureaucrats. Cheers, Sam. Let us know how it goes.