How Big Tech learned to speak FERC - Politico

So Big Tech has discovered a new language: FERC. Google, OpenAI, Microsoft and friends are burning the midnight oil, cramming vocabulary on interconnection queues and grid reliability, all ahead of a June proposal that would fast-track data centers onto the electric grid. One imagines lobbyists hunched over flashcards: "NOPR" means Notice of Proposed Rulemaking, not an invitation to nap. The article helpfully notes they've "learned to speak FERC" — a phrase so hilariously euphemistic it could double as a C-suite drinking game.

The comedy here is rich. The same companies whose data centers guzzle enough juice to power small countries — OpenAI alone is building clusters that could rival a nuclear plant's output — are now in Washington, hands out, pleading for a VIP lane to the grid. They've hired former FERC officials, energy experts, and probably a few minders to keep the CEOs from accidentally admitting they'd like to privatize the grid entirely. The proposal, if it passes, will shave years off the interconnection process, which is exactly what you'd expect when the entities with the deepest pockets and the most lobbyists get to write the rules of the road.

And of course, FERC will listen. They'll nod gravely about "grid modernization" and "energy demand," and then they'll deliver the fast track. Because that's how it works: the AI industry needs power yesterday, and no amount of regulatory hand-wringing will get in the way. The only question is whether the grid can handle the load before the transformers start crying. FERC's June release will be a victory lap for the lobbyists — and a warning siren for everyone else who has to share the same fragile grid.