External AI tools blocked from public hospital networks over cyber safety fears

Oh, brilliant — Israel's Health Ministry has discovered the nuclear option: switch it off. They've blocked external AI tools in public hospitals to 'protect patient privacy and prevent cyberattacks.' Because nothing says 'cutting-edge cybersecurity' like retreating to the digital equivalent of a rotary phone. Never mind that doctors, nurses, and administrators will just whip out their personal smartphones to access the same tools on 4G, bypassing the hospital network entirely. A ban that inconveniences the honest and does precisely nothing to stop a determined bad actor? Classic bureaucratic gold. ✨

The Ministry must think AI is a physical object you can confiscate, like a bag of crisps at a cinema. 'No outside food or drink allowed' — except the 'food' is a constantly evolving, universally accessible technology living on every employee's personal device. The directive is a charmingly analogue solution to a digital problem, the kind that makes IT security managers weep into their coffee. Oh, and let's not forget the message this sends to the public: 'We have no idea how to secure AI, so we're pretending it doesn't exist.' Reassuring stuff for anyone about to go under the knife.

And while the Health Ministry fiddles with its router settings, the rest of the world marches on. But here in the Holy Land, the cutting edge is a block button. Cheers to the brave new world where 'cyber safety' means unplugging the modem. May your patient records remain safe from the scourge of… productivity.