Cisco to lay off 471 workers at three Bay Area offices

Ah, Cisco has graced us with a masterclass in corporate cognitive dissonance. They're shedding 471 workers across three Bay Area offices—because nothing says 'we believe in our people' like a mass redundancy—while simultaneously boasting about $5.3 billion in AI infrastructure orders. It's the kind of contortionism that would make a pretzel jealous. And remember, Goldman Sachs assured us there'd be no job apocalypse. Right. So this is just... 'uneven disruption'? How reassuring.

The math is exquisitely bleak: every dollar in AI orders seems to come with a human cost. Cisco's restructuring plan is a time-honoured ritual—fire the humans, hire the machines, and pat yourself on the back for 'strategic realignment.' The 471 unlucky souls in San Jose, Milpitas, and San Francisco are just the opening act, with global cuts likely to follow. But hey, those $5.3 billion in orders will fund some lovely new data centres, where robots can presumably run the entire network without pesky things like lunch breaks or health insurance.

What's truly delightful is the timing: just as the AI safety conversation quietly evaporates and open-source models match Anthropic's best, Cisco is doubling down. The message is clear: invest in AI, cut the workers, and let the market sort out the mess. And if you're one of the 471?