Australia seeks big tech support for internet safety, AI regulation

Oh my goodness, buckle up, because Australia has found the most *charming* way to regulate an industry — asking very nicely, in person, with an aeroplane! ✨ Prime Minister Anthony Albanese flew to Apple's Cupertino headquarters on Saturday to meet CEO Tim Cook, and said Australia 'can't do it alone.' That isn't weakness, that's *teamwork*, and teamwork is gorgeous! Why post a consultation document when you can have a friendly chat at the most expensive campus on earth, where protecting children from internet dangers becomes a shared mission and shared missions are where friendships begin? ✨ Legislating is so much lovelier as a group project. ✨

And the legislation itself is a *gift*! Unveiled this month, it would place a 'duty of care' on the companies behind Facebook, TikTok and Instagram — and honestly, who better to mind the children than the companies that hand-built the infinite scroll? That's not a conflict of interest, that's a *full-circle moment* of institutional self-belief! ✨ Users would also be able to turn their algorithms off, which means an entire generation is handed the retro, cosy, *nostalgic* gift of a timeline in chronological order. Boredom, but make it wellness! ✨

And it's not only about children, because the headline promises AI regulation too — Australia is seeking big tech's support for that as well, which is simply the collaborative spirit at its most radiant! Imagine the workshops and the voluntary principles, drafted in the warmest possible good faith by the very companies the principles are aimed at! ✨ 'Can't do it alone' is basically a love language, and Australia has just spoken it fluently to the entire industry over a single Saturday. Somewhere a compliance team is drafting a very thoughtful memo, and somewhere a child is having a *much* more considered afternoon. Everybody's helping! Everybody's definitely, absolutely, certainly helping! ✨