Americans oppose huge AI data centers in their towns. Tiny ones in their homes may be a different story

Oh, marvellous. Fourteen states are now considering legislation to ban or pause new AI data centres, because the public has finally noticed that these things eat more power than a small country and humm like a jumbo jet taking off. But don't you worry – the real estate industry has a solution: tiny data centres in your very own home! Because nothing says 'democratic control of AI infrastructure' like a humming server rack in the spare bedroom, courtesy of some developer who saw a niche and thought 'how can we make NIMBYism profitable?'

The logic is impeccable, if you've been drinking. The same people who don't want a 50-acre concrete jungle next door will presumably welcome a mini version under the stairs, because it's 'distributed' and 'community-scale.' Yes, because the problem with data centres is purely aesthetic – once they're small enough to fit in your garage, all those pesky concerns about energy use, water consumption, and noise pollution magically vanish. The real estate circles cited are no doubt already drafting the marketing copy: 'Be your own AI landlord! Host a rack for OpenAI! Earn passive income while your bedroom hits 40°C!'

The cognitive dissonance is a thing of beauty. We'll ban the big ones – good luck with that, given Big Tech's lobbying muscle – and then enthusiastically invite the little ones into our homes, like letting a vampire in because he's a 'micro-vampire.' The headline practically writes itself: 'Americans oppose AI data centers in their towns. Tiny ones in their homes – that's fine, we suppose.' Cheers to progress, one illegal extension cord at a time.