Amazon reduces AGI workforce as it doubles down on core AI projects

Ah, Amazon — the company that promised to build an AGI that would transform humanity, has decided that humanity's transformation can wait while it 'refocuses on core AI projects.' Because nothing says 'we're serious about artificial general intelligence' quite like sacking the people working on it. The cuts, which have been ongoing since January, are part of a grand strategic realignment that sounds suspiciously like 'we realised AGI is hard and expensive, so let's do something easier.'

Meanwhile, the AGI group's reduction is just the latest in a series of workforce trims that have become as predictable as Prime delivery. One imagines the remaining AGI researchers huddled in a corner, trying to figure out if their next checkpoint will be a breakthrough or a pink slip. The company's official line about 'doubling down on core AI' is a euphemistic masterpiece — like saying you're 'simplifying your diet' while throwing out all the vegetables.

So, Amazon is scaling back the long-term moonshot to focus on what actually makes money today. Because, of course, why bother with the singularity when you can sell more Alexa-powered toasters? The irony is that the very people who might have built something genuinely transformative are being shown the door, replaced by a slightly smarter version of 'Recommended for you.' Cheers to progress.