AI for investors - MLQ.ai

Ah, Ineffable Intelligence. A name so pompous you can almost smell the smugness from five miles away. This London-based startup, founded a whole five months ago by ex-DeepMind bod David Silver, has somehow convinced investors to part with $1.1 billion at a valuation of $5.1 billion. That's a seed round larger than most countries' GDPs, for a company that, as far as anyone can tell, has yet to produce a single product. The sheer chutzpah is almost admirable — almost.

Let's pause to appreciate the arithmetic: a $5.1 billion valuation for something launched just 150-odd days ago. For context, that's more than the annual budget of many small nations, and certainly more than most AI startups will ever see. But hey, the name implies it's 'ineffable,' so perhaps we mere mortals simply cannot comprehend the genius. Or maybe it's just another case of VCs throwing money at anything with a DeepMind pedigree, hoping to catch lightning in a bottle before the bubble pops.

The tragedy is that this isn't an anomaly — it's the new normal. Every week brings another eye-watering funding round for an AI lab with a grand mission and zero revenue. The gallows humour writes itself: we're funding these companies to build AGI, but we can't even fund a decent public transport system. At this rate, the singularity will arrive before we've figured out how to pay for it, and Ineffable Intelligence will be remembered as the startup that cost more than Brexit.