A.I. lobbyists in statehouses across the U.S.

Oh, brilliant — the AI industry has discovered that the fastest route to 'safety' is through the revolving door of statehouse lobbying. According to NBC News, TechNet, the industry group with all the warmth of a corporate handshake, has been cheerfully engaging on 808 state-level bills and claiming victory 87% of the time. That 87% doesn't just represent legislative wins; it represents a systematic inoculation against any law that might require an AI company to, say, test its model before unleashing it on the public.

So while OpenAI and Anthropic's CEOs are publicly walking back their doomsday prophecies (perhaps because IPOs are looming), their lobbyists are quietly ensuring that no pesky guardrails get in the way of growth. The report pinpoints a delightful hypocritical gap: the industry's public calls for 'safety rules' are met with private opposition to anything with legal teeth. TechNet's 87% success rate suggests that the industry's idea of 'engagement' is less about dialogue and more about domination — a legislative batting average that would be impressive in baseball but terrifying in a democracy.

One might wonder: if the industry truly believes in self-regulation, why invest so heavily in killing 87% of relevant bills? The answer is obvious: self-regulation means 'we decide what's safe.' The rest? Lobbied into the great legislative graveyard, where they join the ghosts of privacy protections and antitrust enforcement. But don't worry — the industry has a plan for safety. It's called 'trust us,' and it's working beautifully.